Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Scale Defined Beauty...



Going through a little bit of a self-hate phase...

Of course, this always happens after I step on the scale after a hiatus. Sigh...why can't losing weight be as easy as it is to put on the weight? 

Seeing the scale last night made me feel...well...hopeless...yeah, hopeless is the perfect word for what I felt in that moment. I kept thinking to myself, had I stuck to all of those weight-loss goals and challenges that I set for myself, then perhaps I would be at my goal weight by now! But no, I'm here...I'm fat and I'm sad. 

I told my boyfriend about how I was feeling and of course he showered me with compliments...but that wasn't what I wanted. I didn't want to hear that I'm beautiful when the scale is telling me that I'm ugly. I just wanted someone to say, "I understand how you feel, now get back on that horse you coward!" 

But no one did...

I went to sleep feeling horrible...but today woke up feeling a little better, so Maddox & I went to the grocery store and stocked up on healthy groceries. I need to work on self-control--starting with my diet! I would like to start small w/ my bounce back by avoiding restaurants and banning drinks that aren't water or vegetable juice. I think that's a pretty good start and enough of a challenge for the time being.

As for exercise, at home videos and Wii games will have to do until the weather gets better or until I feel like being surrounded by fit people at the gym again.

I won't give up...I just can't.


Hope you all are doing well...
Take care & thank you for reading!



13 comments:

  1. I totally get how you feel. I have been there so many times. I too need let go of my excuses and work hard at reaching my weightloss gals.

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    1. Thank you, Andrea! We can do this! We just need to push through the hard times...Wishing you the very best of luck with your journey! :)

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  2. I understand how you feel - and don't give up! Get back on the treadmill, or yoga mat, or just take a brisk walk. But before you do, stand before the mirror and give thanks to the body that carries you through the day, the same body that made a person! (You can do it!)

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    1. Thank you, for your thoughtful words! :) I truly appreciate it!

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  3. Wish I would've seen this last night....no one should ever go to sleep feeling hopeless! You can be successful at anything to set ur mind to. Sure distractions and road blocks will come up, its recovering from those things, recognizing them for what they are and moving on that matters. I need to get on the bandwagon too, we can do it together! So chin up grasshopper, u can do this!

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  4. I feel the same way all the time. I made so much progress in April 2012 & lost 30 lbs within a few months. Now I just can't seem to get back with it! I did the same thing as you and bought tons of healthy food, but it's so hard to not go out to eat. & I hate excersise! lol. Glad there are others out there who feel the same as I do!

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    1. I enjoy exercise, but LOVE going out to eat...it's horrible :( I just need to get focused on my goals. Thank you for reading, we can do this! Good luck on your journey!

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  5. were you doing ZUMBA for awhile? that can be fun and a mood lifter. I know it is hard when you get in a funk and it stinks when you dont see the scale doing what you want it to. You have done it before and you can do it again now. Take heart. Just do what you know to be right. Set small goals for yourself. Once you hit your smaller goals then continue on and set some new ones! You can do this.

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    1. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my blog and post such kind words. I did do Zumba for a while and I LOVED it, perhaps I should do it on a regular basis...since when I did, it worked! Thanks again!

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  6. I have felt like that many times! It is so sad that the media is so plagued with these images of these size 2 women that we begin to feel that anything other than is unacceptable, undesirable, or not beautiful. Knowing you personally I know what an absolutely wonderful person you are. You are smart, you are kind, you are honest, you have a good heart, you are anti-illuminati LOL, you are gorgeous, and you are a good mother. Look at this world. Look at the media, there are few good people left in this world. Weight can always fluctuate, but who you are on the inside should have you beaming with the utmost pride of yourself. Having put on weight myself I know it's a struggle, but it can be done. Don't let it get to you, let your beauty shine from the inside out, make baby steps toward your goal and before you know it you'll be there.

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    1. Thank you very much Mallory! Very sweet comment :) I love you!

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  7. You can do it, Love! I'm in the same boat and I know we can overcome these struggles . Slow and steady is my plan, it definitely hard to change what you've been used to for so long, so going full speed ahead trips me up. So, like you, I will cut out fast food, soda, and work my way up. I am a new member and look forward to reading all of your post!

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  8. Boy do I understand this blog! I spent my teens and 20's thinking I was fat and hating my 5'6" size 10 body. Then I was in a car wreck at age 28. A really bad car wreck that changed my life. I couldn't even walk down the driveway to get my mail. I went through over two years of physical therapy. I gained weight... a lot of weight. I now weigh 80 pounds more than I did before the accident - and that's after losing 50 pounds. I wear a size 18. This does not make me happy. The scale and I are not friends. I have learned to be grateful for what my body can do. I can take my dogs for two mile walks again. I can pick up a four year old child. I can pull weeds and plant flowers in my garden. I can vaccuum my house. I can wash my own hair. These are all things I could not do after the accident. I have learned that the scale is a device that shows you a number. And quite frankly, that number means nothing. It does not define you. That number has nothing to do with your brain or your heart or what a wonderful person you are. When the scale gets you blue, get out and do something. Be active, use your body, enjoy the things your body is capable of doing - not to please the scale, but just because you can.

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