Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Scale Defined Beauty...



Going through a little bit of a self-hate phase...

Of course, this always happens after I step on the scale after a hiatus. Sigh...why can't losing weight be as easy as it is to put on the weight? 

Seeing the scale last night made me feel...well...hopeless...yeah, hopeless is the perfect word for what I felt in that moment. I kept thinking to myself, had I stuck to all of those weight-loss goals and challenges that I set for myself, then perhaps I would be at my goal weight by now! But no, I'm here...I'm fat and I'm sad. 

I told my boyfriend about how I was feeling and of course he showered me with compliments...but that wasn't what I wanted. I didn't want to hear that I'm beautiful when the scale is telling me that I'm ugly. I just wanted someone to say, "I understand how you feel, now get back on that horse you coward!" 

But no one did...

I went to sleep feeling horrible...but today woke up feeling a little better, so Maddox & I went to the grocery store and stocked up on healthy groceries. I need to work on self-control--starting with my diet! I would like to start small w/ my bounce back by avoiding restaurants and banning drinks that aren't water or vegetable juice. I think that's a pretty good start and enough of a challenge for the time being.

As for exercise, at home videos and Wii games will have to do until the weather gets better or until I feel like being surrounded by fit people at the gym again.

I won't give up...I just can't.


Hope you all are doing well...
Take care & thank you for reading!